first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
