my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
