Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
