I will die if light touches me.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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