There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
