Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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