the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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