Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
