but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
