He had one of those small greek statue penises
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
