would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
