Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
