i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
