I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
