I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
