THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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