Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
