High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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