I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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