What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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