I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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