You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
