can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
