Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
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