i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
