Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
