come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
