You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
