the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
