Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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