i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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