My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Congratulations! We have a period
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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