Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
