Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
