Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
