my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
We are all done wearing pants today
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
