If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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