drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I see more hoeing in ur future
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