where am i from again
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
