At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
