How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
It was like getting head from an anaconda
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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