My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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