Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
