Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
