I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
