That's intense
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
