So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
