Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
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