im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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