Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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